That is an actual sentence that came out of my husband’s mouth. I am sure you don’t even need to read this blog to see where it’s going, but in the event you do want to read it, enjoy!
I’m going to tell you a story about American survivors…Ok, maybe I should say designed-in-America-made-in-China survivors. I’m talking about our Iphones, Ipad, headphones, passport, cash, and pretty much anything else of value you can think of we might have with us. And we nearly lost it all.
What happened? I’m sure you’re asking? Well let me tell you…
The other day we decided to leave the Island of Koh Rong and go to the Island of Koh Rong Samloem. Our tickets said the boat was supposed to leave the pier at noon, but when we showed up at 11:45 we were told we were too early. I thought it was a good idea to head of to this little brewery/bar and have a quick beer while we were waiting. We each got a beer, split one more, and then bought another beer for the boat ride. When we went to get on the boat there was something telling me not to drink the extra beer. I think it’s because the water wasn’t too calm and I don’t have the strongest stomach when it comes to boats and water. My husband, however, does not have that problem. At all.
We ended up waiting at least 30 extra minutes, if not 45, for our boat driver to show up. Shaq drank his extra beer, my extra beer, and then bought a couple more. The ride was alright, but it was pretty choppy and we were on a pretty small, slow boat.
Finally we reached the island of Koh Rong Samloem. And it was a shit hole to put it simply. There was a pier, no beach, a bunch of garbage, and some super run down looking guesthouses. One guy got off, but no one else on our boat did. But for whatever reason, we followed him. Oh yeah, and I should mention we didn’t have any kind of plan at all; no room booked, no real idea which beach we were going to, no idea how to get there. So we got off. And in about 30 seconds it was decided we would not be staying at this spot. We got lunch. Shaq drank more beer. We found out there isn’t a “water taxi” to take us to the other side were the nice places are, but we did find a man who would take us to Sunset Beach in a longboat.
We didn’t know what or where Sunset Beach was. At that point, I geographically had no clue where we were, other than the fact I knew we weren’t where we wanted to be. So we paid our $25 to take us the 45 minutes it took to get to Sunset Beach. I think I thought Sunset Beach was the name of the 7km long-white-sand beach I wanted to be at. So we got in the boat and off we go. The water was white capping and awfully rough. Once again, I was thankful I am the Parker with the strong water stomach (which isn’t saying much). This boat ride was getting fairly gnarly. I was focused on keeping my lunch in, Shaq was still drinking beer, and the kid assisting the captain was snoozing.
Finally we arrive at Sunset beach. The kid, barely awake, tells us we are going to have to jump off the boat and he will hand us our bags because there is no pier. Our boat is all over the place. It looks like we are going to be jumping into 8 feet of water. Shaq jumps first and is like oh, ok, it’s not so bad. It’s only about waist deep, but when the waves come it’s about chest deep. I jump next and am like ok, we did this. But I am being pushed all over the place. Shaq gave me our two smaller backpacks, the ones with all our valueables, and he carries our big backpacks. I am walking and just trying to not get pushed over by the waves or trip on my dress. Since I wasn’t planning on this day turning out to be what it was, I was wearing a long summer dress. That does not do well in this situations, FYI. It was tangling and tripping me up. Luckily a sunbather saw my struggle and ran out to help me and grab a bag. Somehow ALL our stuff made it to shore dry and still working. But was close.
We ended up staying in a little beachside bungalow, doing a lot of swimming, and relaxing. It was a nice, internetless couple of days.
Needless to say, when we got ready to leave we planned for the worst. We put anything of value in ziplocks, wore our swimsuits, and remained sober. It was nice until we got on the speed ferry to come back to the mainland and started experiencing even worse water! But that is another story for another time.
The moral of the story I think, and people who were at our wedding know this, don’t get on a boat with us. We do NOT have good luck. Also, without these more challenging days travel really wouldn’t even be worth talking about.
Miles walked: about 1 in 2 days
Restaurants on our beach: 4
People on Sunset Beach: maybe 75? Probably less
Cost of bungalow: $45/per night
Mosquitos killed while showering: 8
Fans in our bungalow: 0